Lighter side: Ridiculous resume mistakes

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A hilarious error can make a CV stand out just as much as a well put together resume.

Chances are, you’ve seen your share of unintentionally fantastic mistakes over the years.

Luckily, international staffing firm Robert Half has kept a record of its best CV blunders and put them on a dedicated website called Resumania.

Here are a few that made us laugh out loud:
 
Hilarious cover letter statements

“You are going read this letter and think I am either too serious or a complete flake.”
“Hire me today and take advantage of a diamond in the ruff.”
“I'm attacking my resume for you to review.”
“I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know I'm looking to change jobs."
“I recently launched my own business, but since it's quickly losing money, I need a job.”
“As my career with the WWE begins, I will need to have a day job. Professional wrestling does not pay very well in the beginning.”
“I am an Australian citizen and will remain an Australian citizen and an Australian, forever. Idealistically, I would like to mention that I love Australia.”
 
Quirky qualifications

“I have the brain of a sponge.”
“I like to hire and fire people.”
“I am good looking, so I really feel I'm cut out for advertising.”
“I can ear 30 hot dogs in less than a minute; also good at team sports.”
“Able to fit a whole Moon Pie in my mouth.”
"Fluent in both English and Spinach.”
 
Off-beat objectives

“To get an opportunity to proof what I know.”
“I want to someday collect brown-haired Barbies.”
“I would like to find a home to stay until it's time to go out to pasture.”
"To work very hardly.”
“Desire the chance to showcase my delightful personality, intelligence and superior judgment, which are so hard to find these days.”
“To be revered as a Goddess for my analytical skills; to be admired and talked about for my creative and elegant ideas; to work for a group that's still in it to have fun and make That Dream come alive; to be surrounded by good people who laugh often and whose own personal motivation inspires me; to forge consensus and sow encouragement in those around me.”
 
What brilliant blunders or quirky claims have you come across in resumes?
  • Judy on 24/08/2014 3:46:24 a.m.

    Very funny. I needed a laugh. Better check my resume.

  • Owen Brighurst on 8/08/2014 2:14:16 p.m.

    Achievements:
    Passed a Maths Exam with Extinction

  • Holly Gibson on 8/08/2014 2:03:22 p.m.

    "Attention to detail" followed immediately by "committed to guality"

  • Steve Evans on 8/08/2014 1:52:36 p.m.

    Cover Letter: "I need this job cos I'm desperate cos the judge said if i don't start paying off the fines he'll put me in jail"

  • Ross Henderson on 8/08/2014 1:34:06 p.m.

    Killed (they meant skilled) in marketing!

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